5 Awesome (And Healthyish) Stoner Foods

Published by sophia460 on

Every smoker knows how fun it is to eat while high. Enhanced taste and  appetite, combined with the right combo of flavor and texture goes a helluva long way. Although eating an entire bag of croutons is fine, and regular, this list could serve as inspiration for the next time you light up. Some of these foods require making,  which we think is a-ok if you prepare ahead of time. It’s fun to cook high, creative juices get flowing, and if you don’t feel like doing that, you can always order out or stick to croutons, lol.

Some of this food is indulgent, some will curb your stoned ass from eating the entire contents of your fridge, some might enhance your high (!) and some is even healthy(?!) so you’ll hate yourself a little less for having eaten literally of it. We know that PB and J tacos and SpaghettiO’s pizza exist, but they won’t be featured here. We’re (kind of) leveling up, and while some of these snacks are definitely comfort food, they’ve been collected from far and wide ( i.e. the internet) to give you a nice variety in taste, effect, and health rating:

  • Jalapeno Poppers– We’re not starting off gently, lol. These babies are the best. Keto friendly af too. What could be better than spicy peppers stuffed with cream cheese and wrapped in bacon?! Yes, you’ll probably have to deal w the ring of fire the next day, but dang it if the experience won’t be worth the pain.
  • Chupe De Camarones – Um… yes this Peruvian recipe takes a bit of work, but if you know, you know. First of all, the consistency is rich, almost bisque=y, and second, it has tons of texture and flavor. Shrimpies, cornies, eggies – girl you make this and you’ve got the best soup ever. I’ve noticed how awesome it is to eat soups and dips etc. stoned, and considering this soup is amazing without weed, it’ll be ridiculous with it.
  • Homemade Guacamole and Plantain Chips – Ok, healthy, crispy, tangy, salty… ( We may have made and eaten like 4 avocados worth of guacamole the other day…) this recipe is dang easy and serves 4. (We know you’ll eat all of it, we’re not into food shaming.)
  • Green Mango Salad – We know you’re probably thinking like wtf eats salad after smoking (we’re shakily raising our hands..), but bear with us because – DID YOU KNOW – that mangos enhance and prolong highs?! This is because they have myrcene terpenes, which are essential oils also found in weed, which enhance and prolong high by working in tandem in your blood. Great way to feel good longer and also not have to deal with the self-loathing that comes with eating an entire pizza on your own.
  • Pizza Popcorn – We can’t not finish off with the best stoner food there is. But yea, we said pizza popcorn, and we know it’s not what you really want. We also know you won’t eat what you really want because you have probably internal organs that require easy blood flow.  Pizza flavor delivered via parmesan, chopped pepperoni, garlic, etc. without the extra 6 pounds gained in one night.

 


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