Have you ever gone to a friends house for a drink and they hand you a glass that hasn’t been cleaned in weeks, covered in alcohol residue, smelling of Jim Beam’s taint? Nope, never. It would be unthinkable as well as a health hazard.
So why are so many pipes, bongs and dab rigs being offered up to me that appear to have been recovered from a Swamp? I recently had a friend hand me a pipe that had resin coming out of the mouthpiece and was virtually clogged. I instantly handed back their bacteria trap and grabbed my clean piece, as they attempted to shame me for being too “bougie”, while coughing up a lung. Call me crazy, but if you wash your glass after a night of whiskey drinking, why in the hell would you not clean your glass after a night of toking?
Fact: Resin filled smoking devices contain germs that can spread illnesses like cold’s and the flu along with cold sores. They turn your top shelf into garbage while giving you a harsh taste that’s horrible on the lungs. These days a brand new pipe is under $5, so if you’re too lazy to clean yours, just buy a new one each month. Now if you’re saving up that resin for when you run out of flower and need a toke, just don’t. There’s grams right up the street at $5. You have absolutely no excuse Pig-Pen.
Instead of infecting your friends, let me assist you with an easy tutorial on how to keep from spreading viruses and ruining highs. Below is a list of 2 great products you can buy at any headshop/pipe store and a 3rd option that I’ve personally used over the past 20+ years. But for the love of all that is good and holy, please just do something.
1.) Formula 420 : Formula 420 works on glass, ceramic, Pyrex and metal. This appears to be an alcohol base that has it’s own cleaning granules and is non-toxic. I used some by dropping about 3 ounces into my Mobius Stereo Matrix 18″ Bong. Shook for 1 minute, rinsed it and I can tell you it works very good as long as your piece isn’t too dirty and it also leaves it smelling like oranges. It works great on dry pipes as well. Just add enough to fill about 50% of your piece, cover all holes, shake for a good minute and voila, it’s clean. ($11.99USD/16 ounces)
2.) Randy’s Black Label Cleaner : I’m old school so Randy’s was always known for being the papers with the metal holder in the tip that my Mom rolled her doobies with. Well they’ve now released their own cleaner that seems similar to Formula 420’s as it has the same type of granules, works on the same surfaces but does not leave behind any noticeable scent. The piece I cleaned was a Rooster Apparatus 20″ bong with a fritted disc filter and a good amount of resin. Within 30 seconds of shaking I could see it had eaten away the resin and left it sparkling clean with no noticeable smell. Very impressive. In my opinion Randy’s is a stronger solution. The only drawback I see is that the size is 4oz’s less than Formula 420 for the same price ($11.99USD/12ounces) but I would still recommend Randy’s for its strength and lack of scent.
3.) OGKushner’s Home Remedy : Rubbing Alcohol and Kosher Salt.
Bong/Dab Rig/Bubblers : Dump Water. Add Rubbing Alcohol (enough to fill 25% or until just below the max. water level) then add Salt. (1 Tsp per ounce of Alcohol is a good ratio) Cover all holes to your piece and shake vigorously for 1-5 minutes. (If still dirty, rinse and repeat)
Dry Pipes/pieces/bangers and dab tools: Place into a Zip-Loc Bag. Add enough mixture to soak it completely, then shake for 1-2 mins while keeping the bag closed. To clean inside the pipe/piece use a tiny bit of steel wool/SOS pad on the tip of a pipe cleaner or wooden skewer. Just be careful not to lose the steel wool inside your piece or you’ll be digging it out with a paperclip. At ($1-3USD/32oz’s) It’s cheap and does the trick.
Just imagine, if you can do this every day or two, you no longer have to be that terrible host who offers a hideous Goblin Bong to their guests.